Congres voor Kinderen die Stemmen Horen: Conference for Children Who Hear Voices

In September 1993, in Amsterdam, Sandra Escher and Professor Marius Romme held the first conference for children who hear voices. Terence Mclauglin, a Hearing Voices Network member, reports on what happened on the day.

September 18 1993. The sun finally comes out over Amsterdam. I am at the zoo; children playing on the park; a young people’s jazz band playing on the grass. I have always felt uncomfortable about zoos, but here I can’t help noting … there are no bars, even around the lions, just moats of water. I am thinking of the working title of our next conference in Britain: “Taking voices out of the lions den.” This refers to the reactionary publicity surrounding the death of Ben Silcock, who apparently threw himself to the lions, because of the voices; politicians are now talking about compulsory medication in the community. My daughter hears voices, but she is able to talk about it; she was interested in coming to Holland and maybe speaking at the conference, I am wishing she was here.

The zoo was to be the venue for a national conference for children who hear voices. There were twenty-seven children accompanied by parents and professionals who had been working with them. The organisers had ensured that the setting was secure and confidential for the children and not overburdened by observers. A TV crew had been there at 8.00am to record an interview between Sondra Escher and ten year old Richard who was to speak at the conference; the event was reported later in the evening on a national news program for young people.

The conference was opened by Marius Romme, who asked the question; why do we want to work with children? Because they can cope better when they are young – it might be too late when they are older- people have parents hearing voices- children are receptive to understanding. It’s important for the family, though it’s very difficult to talk about voices when you don’t know what it’s all about. Parents and children might not understand each other because of the voices- they have to trust each other. It’s difficult to understand the mind of someone else but we might be able to be more open after today.

The first speaker was a twenty year old woman.

“ When I was alone and tired, the voices came most. I heard the voice of my grandfather since I was about three when someone was angry I saw a red blaze around me and later I saw vague figures. I could talk to my parents but not to other people. When I was nine I went to a spiritual healer because of the auras, she didn’t talk about voices then because she thought nothing could be done. When I was fourteen, a man told me that I made the voices myself, I told them to go, they started screaming, I had to talk loud. I just wanted to be like other people. Now I don’t have problems except when I am tired. The most important thing is that I have decided to send the voices away- and they listened. I could control them.”

The next speaker was sixteen; the transcript was provided in English.

“Maybe I have a weird story, but I want to tell it to you any way for several reasons:
1. In my opinion it’s getting a bit strange
2. I would like to know if other people experience what I have
3. I want to know where it comes from.

Before I tell you exactly what my problem is, I will tell you something about myself. I am Saslda and I am sixteen years old. I live in Boxmeer and work in a shop. I just passed my diploma in sales and I like going out…so everything is quite normal.  But now something is happening to me that I think people think is abnormal and which I am also seeing as being more abnormal too. It all started when I was a little girl of four years. I was in the toilet and I heard someone talking to me. A voice. Not aloud of course, but in a low voice inside me. The voice asked me whether he could stay with me for a while and I replied in a very friendly way  “yes, of course” and since that time there has been a voice in me that talks to me.

I will try to explain what I mean more clearly. For example, when I have to study and I really do not feel like it, then the voice says to me that I have to go and do it, if I resist then I cannot rest until I am sitting behind my desk studying. Also if I am feeling sad, Wim (the voice’s name is Wim Aben) is always there to comfort me. When I am happy, he is there to share my happiness. I am never alone because I always have someone to talk to, to laugh and cry with.  The voice encourages me in the best way possible and knows me really well and always says the words I really need to hear at that moment. He also gets angry with me when I do things I’m not supposed to and provides me with the strength of purpose to carry on when I want to give up, “push on” he says. At first I thought everyone shared this experience, but when I talked to a friend about it she said she had not had this experience and she thought I was strange because she had not heard about anyone who heard voices. At the same time, I thought she was strange because to me hearing a voice was normal. I thought that perhaps my friend was the exception to the rule and that she was the only one who did not have anyone talking to her. But when I started talking about Wim to other people, I found that none of them had this kind of spirit in them. By this time I was feeling confused- why me and not them? And what or who was Wim? The fact is I never met anyone with the same problem… well not a problem because I accepted it, but I wanted to talk to someone who could answer my questions and I wanted to get in touch with people who had the spirit as well”.

Sandra next introduced Richard together with his therapist who is a parapsychologist. Richard had sometime before appeared in a broadcast interview which had played a part in preparing the conference and bringing together other participants in the conference.

S. Say something about the voices…
R. I saw strange things … but only at night.
S. Did you have any idea what the voices were?
R. No
S. Were they nice?
R. They sometimes said they would give me presents but they didn’t.
S. Did you look for help?
R. When the voices got angry … but it was difficult to talk… the voices would not allow it … if I talked, that night I would be punished… I wouldn’t be able to sleep… They told me to do things I didn’t want to do… they used to frighten me and other people.

The therapist explained that she believed him- he could cry with her and now he is not as afraid. He hears good voices and is happy about that. 

S. Has he seen a psychiatrist?
T. Yes, he didn’t understand him
S. Do other children know you hear voices?
R. They tease me…can’t talk to the teachers about voices.
T. It’s important to be believed, to become less anxious; the biggest problem is that children are not allowed to tell anyone. Parents often say it’s weird and they are not allowed to talk about it. When the voices are good, children are not bothered – only when they are bad. It is important to be more normal about it. Richard couldn’t concentrate with the voices; when he learnt to cope, he was able to move on to a normal school.

She explained the role of drawing in the therapy. He drew pictures of a maze and a lost key and little black men who would follow him. He was happy when he was drawing but in the end he was able to throw the voices away- he drew a planet and sent them there; he asked the moon to take them… they went away on a black line that he drew for them. He is not afraid they will come back.

In the next few sessions a developmental psychologist talked about the importance of naming the experience:
“ I have tried to tell people about voices, many people hear voices, they may be good or bad and talking for the first time may be difficult. All of a sudden it is there and very intense and you don’t know what to do and people are more frightened when they know nothing. You should start by accepting and knowing that you hear voices. But when they start you feel as if you are crazy- you look at the environment and say they are coming from the radio and not you. You have to know what they mean – that they have something to do with you… You start naming the experience. It’s like having flu’ for the first time, you feel very ill, because you give it a name, you can deal with it – same with the voices. You can ask yourself questions, how many voices have you- since when? This is very important because there is nearly always a concrete reason- often past experience, an accident or bereavement. What kind of voices? Angry, helping or caring? Are the voices always angry? What time of day- are you calm or emotional? It all helps to cope better. How do you recognise voices? It’s important to explore them like telephone calls. How much power do the voices have- for some people they decide what should be done- there is a feeling of not being able to escape, however, powerful voices can be controlled. Are they male, female, old? Are you confused; fighting with them; do you like them? What’s your reaction to hearing them, say, at school?  I want children to have a relationship with the voices- make deals.”

Q. Where do they come from?
A. There is no one explanation…Once it was said to be a psychiatric illness but that is slowly disappearing…some say it is a spiritual gift. I am not saying what the solution is- you must find your own meaning; you are the one who is experiencing this. 

Martina gives examples:
A six year old whose parents are divorcing, there are new children in the family, he likes the voices –it is not as chaotic as the family situation. Other children want to get rid of voices, a girl can send them away when she is at school –she is doing well at school.
A boy has had a serious illness, moved house, describes himself as anxious – starts to hear voices, voices know you very well, you always know they are your voices, why do the voices know about you? Because it is difficult, find someone to help you deal with it.
Accept voices, make deals, have relationships- like with friends and teachers… for example, with some friends you play football but not go on holiday with… if a friend asks you to play football and you say no- does he get angry…you know the friend, you have to know the voices…you have to know what you can say and what you can’t…you can’t order voices what to do, negotiate…you can’t be totally preoccupied with voices but it takes time to get to know them, like going on a school camp.

There are some lively questions to Martina:

Q. I don’t want to cope- I want to get rid of them.
A. You can get rid of them but it takes a lot of energy and coping is an alternative- maybe the first step.
Q. What do you do when the voices won’t listen to you?
A. Voices are complex, there are as many voices as there are people… ignoring the voices doesn’t work, they are trying to get attention.
Q. Are voices part of your personality?
A. For some people that is an explanation.
Q. You should start with feelings, not voices.
A. Voice hearers are often anxious people, chaotic- that needs to be addressed first…it is important to be calm…if you talk to the voices chaotically, like to a neighbour… they will not understand.
Q. Do voices have a shape?
A. Sometimes a shape.
Q. What kind of children hear voices?
A. We have no research yet.

During Martina’s presentation, the younger children have been drawing and talking in an ante-room, the session being facilitated by therapists. A third young woman is now joined on the platform by the earlier speakers. They wish to emphasise that many people hear voices and that they are not crazy and it is a relief to talk to others about it. It is evident that these three young people, who had not met previously, are able to give each other considerable support.

A transcript of Sanne’s contribution follows:
I am Sanne, I am 14 years old and I hear voices and I am fed up. I hope that by telling my story I can come to terms with the voices. I don’t remember when it started exactly, I think I was four or five years old, I was in nursery school, in the morning, when I woke up these little voices came and they stayed with me all day. They said something and were gone again for a while. They also talked to me. When I went to sleep at night they were still there. They would disappear just before I fell asleep. I thought it was normal. Even after they stopped coming I didn’t think it was strange. I thought everyone had this experience.

I don’t know how old I was when they disappeared, but they did and only came back again after some years. I was twelve and in secondary school. I had to do a maths test and talking to my mum I realised I was dead scared about taking it. I told her I was going to mess up. My mum said it would be alright; “You studied hard and you’ll be OK”, later in class I started hearing voices again. I started getting scared more often; sometimes the voices came, in the beginning the voices were quite friendly, but after a while they became unfriendly, they said “You will have to study hard or you will fail your maths test and you failed that other test as well. I suppose you will fail this test and you will fail too many tests to pass your year.” I talked to the school doctor about my fear. He said I should have more confidence; he gave me pills, I didn’t take them.

That was just before the Christmas holidays. In January my Grandmother died. I looked in the coffin and thought she was breathing. The next week the voices returned again. It was late at night and my mother was visiting my Grandfather who lives next door. I hid under the blankets, jumped on the bed, nothing helped. My sister didn’t understand what was happening to me,I just wanted to go to my mother, but my sister would not allow me. I decided to lie in my bed quietly and the voices disappeared. After the voices came, more often and stayed longer, they started talking louder until they were screaming. It really upset me sometimes.

The kinds of voices I have are like little devils or dragons or sometimes they are like marble that keeps growing bigger and I’m being flattened by them, the bigger they get the angrier they become and then I feel such a little child.
I talked to my GP and to the school doctor’s assistant about my fears of the voices. Talking to the assistant was a relief, but she couldn’t help me any further, she said that I would get rid of them one day and she advised me to try and write down when they come, what happens, where I am, if I’m on my own or with others, and what they say. I tried this but it was quite difficult. Half of the time I can’t hear what they say.

I don’t always hear voices since that test week. They come and go. I think about the voices a lot. One time I thought that they weren’t there when I was amongst others, my voices disappeared when I opened the door and my mum was sitting at the table. But I wasn’t right, the voices did come when I was with other people.

Yet things have changed lately, at first I was very tense when the voices came, now I am much calmer, I simply say, “Oh you, get lost, I don’t need you, I didn’t invite you, you have to go.” This helps me because I make myself believe it can help. I also find that thinking about something else can help sometimes, as then they usually go. Things are easier since I got used to the voices. To be honest, I am still worried they will turn up in class and that I will get upset and I don’t know what I would do in that case. I want to get rid of the voices and as I said I hope that having told my story will help.

In the afternoon, the children are able to work together in groups- parents are not allowed to attend. Instead the parents made up a forum in another hall, with psychologists, teachers, Marius Romme and Monique Simmons, national chair of Foundation Response (the Dutch society for people who hear voices).

The first speaker attempted to place the experience within a developmental framework; the development and measurement of perceptions, the subjective nature of time and the evolution of individual theories of mind; he sought to emphasise how people are afraid to present themselves as voice hearers, how they are called mad because they are saying something that is not ‘true’; he is postulating a concept of truth as ‘sincerity’; communication is about making contact with people, being on the same level.

Next a teacher who is a spiritualist: Children don’t have thick coats; things in the invisible world can get in. Extreme behaviour towards parents must be more than just impossible. She has seen children doing things in school because of voices. She herself has a gift, hears what children hear. If the voices can talk to the children, the children can talk to the voices – and the children become less aggressive. Voices are people who have died; they are there to protect children. If children only hear negative voices, she tries to put them in touch with positive ones. Often the child has low self-esteem; she teaches skills about being teased. She is very confident about the success of her work.
A parent with a child who hears voices is very glad to see everyone here. Society is hard to live in; people feel isolated, don’t belong anywhere; it helps to hear a lot of explanations. She talks of feeling angry towards her child – who was she to turn to? – she has been afraid for him as someone who hears voices… but when you start talking, trusting the child and yourself… you can say “I am happy for the child”.

As the discussion progresses, it focuses on the anxiety of the parents – about psychiatry and about the applicability of the approach outlined by Martina in the morning session:

Q. Psychiatrists don’t listen but my child found it positive being heard today.
A. Psychiatrists don’t research normal people… so they come to the wrong conclusion… children are frightened by psychiatry.
Q. How is hearing demons normal?
A. The content might be frightening, but the idea of hallucinations should not be… [the] child must have an idea of trust… its important for the parent to be involved.
Q. If there is thunder and lightening, do you hide? No, you look out of the window… don’t run from devils… make a drawing together… psychologists must work with both parents and children
Q. When a child is afraid of a dragon, you say “Lets draw a dragon three times bigger”. Anxiety reduces; voices need our energy to punish. We must be strong.
Q. As soon as you name anything, it becomes more real, more frightening… like a crocodile under the bed…you talk about it and its more frightening.
A. But a crocodile is fantasy … voices are real… you can communicate with voices.
Q. An autistic child is floating in its own world… it is too far to reach.
A. It is still important to try and get contact even if you think the child is floating… but some children might need someone with them… it would be wrong to take a voice away.

Much of the discussion seemed to gravitate to a deep dilemma about punishment: the ever present theme of voices punishing, a discrepancy between the parent and the voice, the parents self-punishment, confusions between naughtiness and assertiveness; the intrusiveness of voices and the intrusiveness of parents. It was important here that children need parents to be part of their problem.

Finally, the careful work of the conference in bringing the problems of hearing voices into a social and relational atmosphere was brought into relief by a contribution in the final moments of the forum:
Q. My child has heard voices since nursery school, she is now nineteen, she has a phobia about writing certain letters because of the voices; she is afraid of dying of anorexia…the obsessional behaviour doesn’t hurt… she doesn’t want to talk about the voice… How far will it go?

The psychiatric categories reassert the framework where life is vested in professional knowledge… the neurosis is a minor problem … the emphasis is on the life threatening diagnosis of anorexia (a psychiatric entity like schizophrenia, like the fantasy crocodile) the prognosis- “how far will it go” allowing only of treatment by the doctor… It is against such disempowerment that the conference has struggled. The conference reconvenes. Monique Simons makes a presentation on the work of the self-help organisation and offers the contact addresses, the children have the telephone numbers of the group leaders. Marius closes the conference, praising the courage of the children… “It has been a good experience… the children have really talked about it… we can conclude that it has been possible to talk about hearing voices”.

I am entirely indebted, in commencing this report, to Marilien Romme for interpreting the proceedings into English; the deficiencies will remain my responsibility.

Taken from Asylum, Spring 1994