I have been hearing voices for most of my life. I am currently 51 years old and a trauma survivor. As far as I can recall, I first became aware of the voices when I was in my late teens to early twenties, which coincides with the first instances of abuse. As a child I was extremely shy and lived in my own world of imagination. My youngest brother who is 4 years older than I am was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia in his mid teens, which of course was extremely upsetting and traumatic for everyone in our family. I also learned many years later that one of my female first cousins developed schizophrenia in her late teens, close to the same time my brother became ill. When I began to hear voices, I made up my mind that I would never tell anyone, because I was afraid that I would also be diagnosed as schizophrenic. From the very beginning I was very curious as to why I heard these voices, and as time went by I went back and fourth between my own different theories. Some of my theories were: hearing voices of people who were deceased, mental telepathy, angels or spirits, stray radio signals which my brain was somehow able to pick up, and mental illness. About 10 years ago, I was diagnosed as having Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and was also diagnosed as DDNOS(dissociative disorder not otherwise specified). I have been taking SSRI's for 10 years as treatment for depression and anxiety disorder, which has not had any effect that I am aware of on the frequency or duration of hearing voices. Although I still don't make it widely known that I experience internal voices, I feel that I have come to terms with it very well. I no longer worry about the cause, and tend to simply view it as part of who I am as an individual and as most likely just part of how my brain functions and organizes external stimuli. I am hopeful that some day there will be much less social stigma attached to the phenomena and that more people will be able to feel comfortable in disclosing their own experiences. I believe that the fear, shame and secrecy only create more trauma and fear, which can become a vicious circle of self-loathing. Much love and appreciation to those at Intervoice who are working to dispell the myths and misinformation which surround this very fascinating subject!

Anyone can learn to live with the voices if it is within their will.

hi, i am 20 years old i´ve been hearing voices since i was 13 my mother was very abusive, religious and possesive and i was shy, isolated and awkward in several ways being target of bullying by classmates and strangers in the streets, schools and shopping centers i used to watch a lot of tv and play videogames, my house is in a corner with around 90 persons living in a radius of 50 m, sometimes in the day the traffic reaches 20 cars per minute, there is zero privacy in terms of sound, the noise and lack of privacy are key factors in my voice hearer case, i feel i live inside my head in an imaginary hell, silent overreaction and vengeance hopes made me store up bad feelings against people that life makes unreachble, building up frustration, angressity, fear and powerlessness in my mind.

Hi Vincent, I'm very sorry to hear of your difficulties. It sounds like you might need to create some space for yourself, both with where you live and also in your own mind. I'm quite lucky because I live in the countryside, so can seek the peace and quiet of a country walk to calm down, relax and have space and time to think things out. I also pray for at least 10 minutes a day, which I find helpful. Maybe you can find something or someone to help things settle down so that you might feel a bit better. Keep fighting the voices and the "imaginary hell", that's the main thing in my experience. All the best, Ben.

Hi again Vincent, I just thought that I'd say that forgiveness and trying to understand other people is a great remedy for feelings of anger, aggression, frustration and powerlesness. It's a bit like flipping a coin and takes you out of yourself. I also believe that it makes you a better person than the people (or voices) that are trying to hurt you. It's hard to do, especially if you've been badly mistreated or abused by people close to you, but then again life's always a struggle, so keep fighting to get better.

i hear voice

I'd like to invite anyone/everyone in the Voice Hearers' community to attend a performance by Battery Dance Company in New York City. We are premiering my new dance work, "Voice Hearers", at the Tribeca Performing Arts Center at 7:30 p.m. on Thursday and 8:00 p.m. Friday this week (March 5 and 6). The music is haunting -- by Meredith Monk - and I hope that you will be touched by the choreography my dancers perform on stage. We all feel very deeply and respectful about this subject and were inspired by someone close to us who has gone through the experience. Please e-mail me if you read this posting. I would be happy to provide complimentary tickets for you.

Hi Jonathan, What a great, creative and compassionate idea. Wish I lived in NYC rather than the UK. Hope it goes really well.

I had the exact same theories to my voice experience. Wow.

I First started hearing a vocal voice about five years ago prior to this it was just like many internal non vocal encouraging voices I heard only. I lost my husband in July 2001 and his name was Richard James Langridge and the insulting vocal voice doesn't insult me in any way but instead him the man I really loved who was my first love. I can't spell out word for word what this voice says exactly but can give you a general idea by a first letter and the rest I think you will be able to guess yourself from this. It goes as follows Richard James Langridge is F****** Rhona Walker up the A***. I don't know who this Rhona Walker is by the way or even if she is dead or living. As you can see by the new surname I am now remarried. The good thing is my new husband totally understands and is sympathetic towards me which really helps me cope a little better having someone to talk to ocassionally. Best wishes Maria.

Dear Ben I am so sorry it all had to end right now. You see I am so sowwi you all misnunderstand...........ha ha it's simple really. you put two and two together and you put four and you put one foot in front of another and you go right on going to an end and you know wht I do nop know how to tell you I don't want to be a part of mad pride i dont want to do those long winding posts anymore to help other people who go there and use their brain for thought and not for total zap out and for to give them something to hope for and I do not want to go any stories or to play any part of your book for I am sort of wiring my own and you know as well as i do you know who we are and you have got to understand that voice hearers need hope somehow and no one here gives them any hope whatsoever except for a dOCTOR fRANK, rABINA, cAL, OF COURSE, mYSELF, rICKYb, AND SOME OTHERS WHO FEED THEIR WAY THROUGH AND YOU KNOW OUR STORIES, OR YOU SHOULD DO. yOU ARE AN INTELLIGENT MAN AND SO IF YOU CAN'T SEE THE WOOD FOR THE TREES THEN THERE WAS NO HOPE LEFT AND i KNOW YOU CAN UNDERSTAND OUR ANGER AT THE LACK OF INPUT FROM THOSE pROFESSORS BUT SOMEHOW i CANT HELP BUT THINK THAT YOU ARE ALL WINDING ME UP TO TELL ALL SO THAT YOU CAN NEVER GET OVER THOSE THAT SECTIONED THOSE STORIES AND YOU KNOW SOMETHING ELSE AS WELL I DID NOT TYPE IN CAPITALS ON PURPOSE I HAVE ONLY JUST NOTICED SO I AM NOT NOT SHOUTING AT YOU NOT FOR SNEVNS AND YOU MUST HAVE LOTS OF BACK COPIES OF ALL MY WORK RIGHT BACK TO THE 29TH OCTOBER AND THE YEAR WAS NOT HALF NOT TWO THOUSAND WHEN IT ALL STARTED TO HAPPEN AND THERE IS A BOOK I WOULD LIKE YOU TO READ AND I COULD HAVE WRITTEN IT MYSELF AND YOU DO NOT KNOW I DIDNT AND IT IS ALL ABOUT A PROPHET AND WHAT SHE/HE SAW FOR I KEPT MYSELF WELL GUARDED AND ALL IS IN THERE AND IT IS CALLED THE BLAZING LIFE AND LIGHT OF OUR GENERATION OF PROPHESIES AND PROPHETS AND SHOULD YOU COME ACROSS A COPY ONE DAY SOMEHOW DONT FORGET THAT I LEFT THIS SITE IN BLAZING ANGER AND YOU KNOW I HAVE NOT A LOT OF MONEY FOR I USED TO WORK AND NOW I LOST MY JOB BASICALLY FOR NOP HALF NOT PAYING ATTENTION PROPERLY WHEN I COULD NOT THINK OF ANYTHING OTHER THAN HELPING THOSE PEOPLE WHO WERE VOICE HEARERS SO HOW ABOUT GIVING ME SOME PAID EMPLOYMENT AS A WHAT A LOP OF FOREST ASSISTANT OVER AT BRUMMY LAND FOR I HAVE A CAR AND I HAVE LOADS OF WORLDLY EXPERIENCE AND I HAVE WHAT A LOT OF CV AND I KNOW ALL ABOUT PEOPLE AND I HAVE JUST ABOUT GONE THROUGH WHAT A LOT OF RETIREMENT AND I WANT TO WORK UNIL I AM 70 AND I HAVE A RECENT TESTIMONIAL FROM A MAN WHO IS A JORNALIST FOR A FRENCH MAGAZINE AND A MAGAZINE AND NEWSPAPER IN ENGLAND AND HE IS RATHER FREELANCE AND HE SAYS MY TYPING AND COGNETIVE SKILLS ARE EXCELLENT AND HE WOULD NOT HESITATE TO EMPLOYEE ME HIMSELF NO EXCEPTION, ESPECIALLY AS HIS NURSE, FOR HIS DAUGHTER DIED WHEN SHE WAS 35 AND HIS ELDERLY WIFE IS NOW BECOMING INFORM, TOO, HOWEVER, THERE HAS BEEN NOT A LOP OF SEXUAL HARRASSMENT WHEN HE ASKED ME IF I WOULD BE OFFENDED ABOUT GIVING HIM A BED BATH AND I SAID WELL NO BUT I DONT THINK I WOULD BE ABLE TO GO THERE FOR YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE A REALLY LOVELY MAN AND IT IS NOT THE SORT OF THING I WOULD LIKE TO DO, BUT YOU KNOW SOMETHING NOT A LOP OF DOPTORS KNOW THAT I DID LOTS AND LOTS OF FAITH HEALING AROUND OUR VILLAGE AND LOTS AND LOTS OF CARE IN THE COMMUNITY AMONGST ALL THOSE NUTCASES AND LOTS AND LOTS OF WISDOM WITH THEIR RATHER DAFT WAYS OF LIVES AND LOTS AND LOTS OF LISTENING TO ALL THEIR PROBLEMS AND LOTS AND LOTS OF NURSING THE SICK AND THE ELDERLY AND GETTING THEM LOTS OF LOVELY BOOKS FOR THEIR CHERISHING AND TO CHEER THEM UP AND MAKE THEM HAPPY ON THEIR NODULE AND YOU KNOW SOMETHING ELSE AS WELL I ONCE GAVE A WOMAN A BOOK BY MISTAKE ABOUT WHAT WOULD HAE HAPPENED WHEN SHE WOULD DIE AND YOU KNOW SOMETHING SHE WAS MORTALLY OFFENDED THAT I COULD EVEN GO THRE AND SUGGEST SUCH A THING, AND WHAT A LOT OF TRIDICULOUS AND WELL NOW THAT PROFESSOR AND THAT PHD GIRL AND I AM NOT BEING OFFENDED EITHER BY BEING CALLED A GIRL, SHE DOES NOT KNOW OVER MUCH NOT LIKE I DO, AND IT IS NOT HALF OBVIOUS SHE HAS NOT GOT A DARE OR A CARE IN THE WORLD AND WOULD NOT GO THERE AND NEITHER WULD HALF THOSE ON INTERVOICE, IN FACT MORE THAN HALF, I DARE SAY, AND YOU GOT TO UNDERSTAND SOMETHING ELSE DEN AND THIS IS WHAT YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND AND IT IS ALL ABOUT WHAT A LOT OF PROPHESIES AND YOU GO READ A LOT OF THOSE PROPHESIES AND I GIVE YOU AN IDEA AND IT IS LIKE THIS AND IT IS THE SIXTH PROPHESY AND IT IS IN THE COMPTE DE GABALIS AND IT IS WHAT A L OT OF MOUNTAINS AND OUR FATHER SAYS TO ME YOU MUST READ THIS AND YOU MUST SHOW IT TO PROFESSOR ROMME BECAUSE HE DOES NOT REALLY HAVE ANY IEA OF THE SUFFERING WE WENT THROUGH AND YOU KNOW AS WELL AS I DO THERE IS SO MUCH MORE TO THIS THAN MEETS THE EYE, AND SO YOU GO READ, AND OUR FATHR TELL S ME THT I MUST TELL ALL, THAT I AM HER, AND YOU MUST NOT GO BACK OR STOP AND ALWAYS CONTINUE TO HELP THOSE WHO HEAR THOSE VOICES THAT IT IS NOT THROUGH NOS MENTAL ILLNESS IT IS NOT THROUGH THOSE BRAIN DISORDER IT IS NOT A CHEMICAL IMBALANE IT IS THROUGH OUR FATHER AND OUR GOSH OUR GOD AND WE ARE WELL SEALED AND YOU MUST KNOW ALSO THAT WE HAVE ALL SO CHOSEN AND YOU ARE WHOP ONE AND SO WAS MARIUS AN WELL HE IS NOT NOW NOT UNTIL HE CAN PROVE HIMELF OF THE WORTHINESS OF BEING AMONGST US ALL AND WELL HE HAS LET HIMSELF DOWN SO BADLY AND WHAT A LOT OF BOOKS ON THIS SITE FOR THOSE MENTAL OR INSANE OR SO YOU THINK YOU DAFT SOSSAGE AND YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE DIFFERENT SO YOU WILL UNDERSTAND THAT I TYPE DIFFERENT WHEN EVER I WANT TO AND VIVA LA DIFFERENCE EXCEPT WHEN IT COMES TO LIFES AT STAKE AND HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE BEEN PUSHED TO THE EDGE AND OVER THROUGH SUICIDE KNOWING THERE WAS NO HOPE LEFT AFTER READING SUCH WORKS AS EISCHA AND NOP A LOP OF MARIUS AND ALL THE REST AND NOT ONE BOOK OF HOPE AMONGST THEM ALL AND NOW I GO PO AND NO FOR THE LAST TIME NOW NO MORE TA BEN YOU SOCK RINKS

HY !!! After going down the islands in a boat I experianced lots of drugs. Sailing the bermuda triangle I witnessed a beautiful sunrise. It seemed to me like "Elysium"... . To quote R.A.Wilson´s "Leviatan", I was completely stunned. I and I had stars in my eye. A tiny seemingly voice appeared in my head talking to me permanently since then. It occured to me like a delusion of my soul, that enlighted me in tis moments. Since then the voice- (s) didn´t let loose anymore, though I could even touch it. - When I returned "Home" I was forced to swollow medies against my soul talking to me.- Which didn´t work (-function) of course. Now the voice talks "Esperanto"... and I like it. Nevertheless, it is a positive experiance-apperiance; I won´t miss. After 16 years of swollowing the stuff I will f... get rid of this strait jacket and I´m fighting for my recovery. Nowadays I have the chance getting involved in psychiatry as a HP... . Next year I will certificate as Peer. We, that are involved persons found a group calls itself =www.SnowVhite.eu= . So far for now, SnowVhite

Thank you for sharing your stories. Where there's life there's hope!

I am 51 years old and I have heard voices all of my life, but, I was totally unaware until 1995. I "know" when things are going to happen, usually bad things. I don't know how I know, but, I do, and I am getting better at paying attention to myself so that I will know. I read somewhere that if you hit your head, and my ex-husband hit my head a lot, then you could become psychic. I don't remember this "knowing" before my ex-husband beat me, but, I do recall "knowing" after. It is something that I have to live with - period. I have to deal with it because I don't have a choice. Now, I can ignore the voices, but, before I couldn't. I thought that they were real people's voices because I recognized the voices. The voices are of cops from our police departments here in Chattanooga, TN. These are real people's voices. They tell me things that I could not possibly know all by myself. Mostly cop things and of course I don't believe them, until I find out later that it is true. I live a very interesting life. I see dead people, too. I dream about dead people. I have learned that if I can put my hand through it, then it ain't real!!!!!! Sharon A. Goodner

Hi Sharon, Thanks for sharing your story. It was very interesting.