In this section we will collect together a range of articles and resources relating to coping with, living with and recovering from distressing voices.
It includes:
A Practical Guide to Coping with Hearing Voices
A practical guide that asks: what is it like to hear voices, why does it start and how can people cope better with this experience?
This guide has been written as an introduction to this different way of thinking about “hearing voices”. Hearing voices can be a very disturbing experience, both for the person who hears voices and family and friends. To date, very little has been written about this experience and its meaning, usually it is regarded as a symptom …
Hearing Voices Groups
This section includes information on attending, launching and facilitating Hearing Voices Groups.
Hearing Voices groups provide a safe place to talk about your experiences. You may feel that sometimes these experiences are very distressing and overwhelming, but sharing this can help.
Recovery
Articles and resources related to recovery. It includes articles by Dirk Corstens and Marius Romme, as well as people with lived experience of recovering from distressing voices.
Online Discussion Forum
A link to a discussion forum provided by The Mental Health Forum in association with Intervoice. This forum provides an opportunity to share your views and experiences – and link with other people who hear voices too.
Your Questions and Comments
Many people leave comments on the Intervoice website. Some of these are from people asking questions or sharing their experiences. This section provides a special place for these contributions, increasing the likelihood that they will be seen by other readers – and replied to. Feel free to leave a comment and connect with other people in the Hearing Voices Movement.
My voices talked all day yesterday. Last night as I was about to go to sleep they ramped it up and got loud and aggressive. I turned on the radio and that made them quieter but it does not always work.
They are only quiet when I am talking to other people. Sometimes they let me read other times they are very loud and distracting when I am trying to read.
They keep trying to chip away at my self esteem but I found that when I said back to them what they were saying to me I felt better. It felt like I was hitting back and I was empowered by that behaviour.
Wish they would just go away….there would be so many things that I would do…I am working on my underlying issues and that weakens the impact on the voices…they don’t cause me to want to cry as much because it is rough having voices raging loudly in your head all day long without wanting to cry.
Have you tried DLA if you need care you can get it with this benefit
if you go to welfare rights they will tell you what benefits you can get
and what help you can apply for hope this help you.
I applied for CPP Disability Benefits and they did not agree to give me the help. That got me really angry. They said my injury was not prolonged and severe. Those are days that I wish the very experience that I am having on the person making the decision and want them to tell me if they can concentrate and work normally with loud aggressive derogatory demeaning voices…they said that they believe I can do some kind of work.
I can barely make it through a two hour group therapy session…how can I work for four hours where I have to concentrate or deal with high volumes of people with voices raging in my mind? Last night I fought with the voices until my medication caused me to pass out … thank goodness for the drugs…but for them I would be hearing voices 24 hours a freaking day…they ruined me financially and are still not satisfied…they said they want me homeless and on the street and will torment me until that happens and even if that happens. I hate my voices…they are terribly mean and nasty and cannot be negotiated with and show no mercy. They hurt me physically too. I went walking yesterday and they made me feel like there was a nail in my left food the pain was real and I fought them by saying it was not and tried walking without a limp but that was next to impossible.
I cannot say that I accept being a voice hearer…it is debilitating and can be terrifying…they almost frightened me out of my home when they first attacked me.
Raina,
We can empathize with you! It totally takes over ones life. My son is dealing with a threatening voice also,but his wants him dead not just homeless! He says he likes your voice better!!
Susan
Make sure you appeal the CPP decision.
Get a medical report from your family doctor and also from your psychiatrist.
Don’t give up on your application- eventually you will have a face to face hearing with a tribunal and you will be able to describe your daily life. Your chance of getting teh pension will be better.
Dear all.
jus approach a good homeopathy doctor at your place
your problems will be solved if you want i can send you
an email ID and website
[Please note: Intervoice doesn’t publish personal email addresses on this site, and will edit them out before approving comments. Please see: http://www.intervoiceonline.org/about-intervoice/policy-on-website-posting for more information on our policy on website comments)
Dear Raina, hearing voices in the way you describe is so distressing. I have struggled for a very long time. I have been lucky enough to have Experienced Focused Counselling since August 2009. Although working on the underlying issues is difficult and painful, and seems neverending, when it really does start to make sense, it is worth it. Relief starts. Trust in your instincts and be true to yourself. Take care. Kate
I’m sorry it’s spelled Experience Focussed Counselling.
I would like to have e-mail from suffering people like myself. Feels good to know, that I am not alone in this boat. Leena from Finland.
Dear community of this site Im mother of a young male 35 who like you hears voices 24 x 7 he can no longer have conversation with me without the voices attacking him its heart beaking to be so helpless he has lost every thing before this happened to him he was very happy ,he did use drugs I belief self medicatting but no sure I dont judge its just life and the experiences we gather ,please if you can help me know how to relate to him I would be grateful when he is being attacked and talking about things I dont aggree with I attempt to bring him back is this good?
bless you wonderful sensitive people Im say to my son be calm and say I m protected by the light of love nothing can harm me stay still untill it passes or calms down draw on your spirit to protect you .. is this ok to say or is it patrinizing him ?
ann its not patronizing to give and teach your son faith you are beautiful, thats kind of how my mum helped me… through love through the strength of a mothers love, it sounds like like your teaching him to be strong to conquer his fears, he has to want to change he has to face what ever it is, youve already given him strength and love the most powerful combination in the universe ‘warrior of light’ god bless you and your son, does he have a path? from a catapilla to a butterfly, it sometimes helps to be guided by you by a teacher in the community or by his spirit his heart, what kind of films does he like what does he like to read? does he have belief? i learnt to distinguish the good from the bad as simple as it may sound for some reason it was difficult, does he ever hear good voices? mantras help for self empowering, to look at the voice as a guide can help its a very different path but one of truth and very powerful to be taught from the spirit to be taught to heal from a greater power, its a good path if he chooses it. i think what you know can help him god bless you again,i wish i could say the right words and help, he doesnt need to be scared, from what youve said he sounds like he’s already fighting thats your strength so it’s working, try and work on trust and all thats good, i get my inspiration from islam christianity budism zen hinduism hollistic therapy philosophy, phycology, my mum my dad sister brother family love and understanding and acceptance that yes we live with voices but they don’t have to be bad its a matter of will, the object or exercise is seperating his voices from when he’s trying to talk to you, consentration and focus is needed here, it also helps him to have an identity some of us call our selves listeners seers, mystics its a very beautiful path, its nice to try a bit of everything, concentration and focus takes time and practice but the benifets are outstanding, i remember i was at the job center it felt like the adviser was using telepathy to talk to me crazy stuff!! lol but there was a soft voice that spoke in the back ground saying ‘your doing fine your doing well, ask him to try and find that voice helps, ask him to pray in any fasion from the heart, it helps to accept the voices as part of his life, [contact details edited by Intervoice Admin], thats all i can say at the moment you can take the advise or not choice thats also a good one to learn good luck and god bless, remember focus focus and more focus the other goal is to regain his mind to be incontrol, theres lots of info out there and people who experience this all the time ive found that abit of everything helps, god helped me and he’s great, the traveler the path finder the iam the iam sounds crazy but its true good luck hope i helped xx
My son is suffering from hearing a very threatening voice and we are looking for help in a residential setting to help him learn to live with this. He has gone through many drugs, ect, and multiple programs and it is getting worse….he says he just can’t live like this. Do you have any ideas???
Susan
Susan my advice would to get him to talk to too another voice hearer, who has experience dealing with it ,so he can gain insight and understanding .If u have trouble doing so i would be happy to volunteer .
I read your reply from last August to Susan who has a son having difficulty coping with a threatening voice. My wife is having this problem. She tells me that there are several voices that visit her daily and threaten her with going to jail, death, death of loved ones, etc. Would you be interested in speaking to her about this?
You don’t say what age your son is so I can only guess, but as a person who has worked for a number of residential services, I have found young people taken out of society, heavily medicated and managed via largely institutionalised routines and structures actually does more harm than good. I believe young people lose valuable maturing and socialization opportunities through this process, not to mention the areas of education and employment.
You also don’t mention a diagnosis, but hearing voices is not in itself a diagnosis, proof of psychosis, nor even “illness” in itself. The distress this may be causing and the effect on quality of life, functionality, and safety are the criteria for being considered “sick.”
There are numerous studies which should be available through Intervoice which point to many possible causes of the experience of hearing voices, including past trauma or abuse, and some cultures belive this to be a spiritual phenomena. I found through my voice-hearing experience that educating myself on these subjects and confronting my own personal “demons”, ie; unresolved issues, along with utilising countless coping strategies and a holistic approach to Wellness, allowed me to see this experience as life-transforming, rather than life-destroying.
There are still a lot of myths and stereotypes around the hearing voices experience, and there are in fact numerous voice-hearers who still function perfectly well and cope with this on a daily basis-including myself. What I found most important in my Recovery was positive role-models, messages of hope and inspiration from others who have been there but come out the other side, and goal-setting to help overcome the days when it all seems too hard.
The Like Minds Like Mine programme run workshops including simulations of the voice-hearing experience and the personal journeys of voice-hearers on the road to recovery, which is great education for the supporters of voice-hearers, while also offering hope for those experiencing this. I am a presenter of these workshops, and can thoroughly recommend them.
We also have sometimes to be careful of the language we use regarding these issues, as terms like “suffering” etc. have negative connotations, and I have never considered my experience of mental illness as “suffering”, rather as a turning-point in my life from which I was able to define myself as a person, identify my areas of passion, and taught me a huge amount about what Wellness really is for me. Never give up hope.
Hello all, I am wondering whether any of you have any experience of support and resources for people with learning disabilities who hear voices? I work in an NHS Community Team supporting people with learning disabilities and we have found that some of our service users have had difficulty accessing and understanding the mainstream services for people who hear voices. Any ideas / suggestions would be welcome.
Hi All, Ive been dissecting this site for a few day now. I have a long and strange story. One of my voices say ”NO! Dont tell it!” but I feel like I need to, hopefully, it will help me let go….
Several yrs ago, my husband and I bought a historic home. Weird stuff happened ALL of the time..lights going on and off, bed being moved, bedsheets hovering above me, you get the drift…I was scared stiff!! Then I was diagnosed with stage 2 breast cancer..had a mastectomy, chemo..the whole nine yards..It was at this point where things started getting ramped up..I started hearing whistling and whispers..My sister who came to stay will verify the talking…but the talking and sounds were EXTERNAL…I had the house investigated by the paranormal society…they confirmed it….i have EVP’s up the wazoo..none too terribly threatening…but i was SCARED, really really scared. I then started to hear things internally as well..it started out friendly..”your grandpa would like your soup” etc…..I also have to mention that I started ”seeing” things…when I closed my eyes at night, my mind would become like a black chalk board…images and messages were written..some in different languages that I dont even speak..
My voices had names…cowboy was the whistler, there was scott..a bald ”mr. clean” type, molly and mike (married couple) etc…scott was bad but I didnt know it at the time..I feel that I opened myself up to him and then it took off…way beyond my control…and it went downhill from there…I wasnt sleeping. I kept hearing ”I want your soul”..”give me your soul”, ”kill yourself, i will take your soul”…I am not a very religous person, but I do have faith. I was so scared and tired that I made my husband take me to a behavioural hospital. They had no diagnosis…maybe chemo? maybe stress? Im sane…who now hears voices..
I am on seroquel, which has helped tremendously…just small break thru voices..I am really having a hard time justifying myself…IS it just me and my head OR are they real??? DO I really want to know? I seem to have given myself OCD because of this…I just cant seem to let it go…some of the things that ive heard and seen can be substantiated and most cannot. My husband placates me but doesnt grasp my issues…Im glad (with my stomach in knots) that Ive let this out in the open…any one with comments, Id really like to hear from you…
Thank you so much for letting me air my laundry…
Darcy
I began hearing voices recently. It was after a bout of pneumonia, a antibiotic resistant kind, and I am wondering if the two are related. They, for two months, gave me no rest. Now I am hearing them less, listening to them less as they call me horrible things, and getting more support from my husband. I am really hoping that one day they all stop together and be done with me.
One question I have, “Do you hear voices of people you know, and family?” Mine are all my family, and I am feeling very alone….
it all started with voices from family and relatives. I had a dream i was running from a wiich in the desert whem my and my cousin fell from a cliff. when i landed i woke up looking at my feet. I saw another pair of feet, and looking at my side, there was my cousin laughing at me. Then my sister came into the room and said something i couldn;t hear. I looked back over to my cousin but he was gone, and nobody was in the house. All through life, i have heard people talking in my dreams. At the age of 25 they started talking all the time. These voices include people i have met all through life. one thing in common, is that i may have loved agape style. They say horrible things like they want to kill me, stab me, shoot me, demeaning names, remind me visually about stupid things I have done. They always say shame on (whatever) and I am going to the zoo.
I always think back at them when I can, but sometimes they get so lowlife, I have to just ignore them.
After giving birth to my son, I became convinced–utterly convinced–that my husband had had an affair. I heard him talking in the other room, but I could not figure out who he was talking to. I checked his computer, his phone records. One night I recorded it, and I heard voices in the white noise–my husband talking to a woman. I hear the same words on every recording, but to everyone else it sounds like static.
I gave up on my theory, and as time passed the voices I was hearing became louder. A woman and man arguing, a girl calling for help, strange menacing things. As I progressed past my delusion of my husbands ‘affair’, the voices calmed down.
Now, much later, we are separated. I’m living with friends, but I am very concerned about being a burden. From the basement room I have heard them arguing about me. I have heard entire conversations about things that don’t make any sense. I find that if my anxiety worsens, the voices become louder and clearer, and whole plot lines about how I’ve been a bad guest in their house have been spun in these voices.
I hear them more when there are fans, muffled television noises from the living room, or water running. Water running seems to be the worst.
The night before last I sat my friend down and explained the voices too him–I am lucky he is so tolerant. I explained that I may ask him odd questions, and if I do, he should just know that I am reality checking an experience. The next night I heard no voices at all!
I believe this bout of voice-hearing, like the previous postpartum experience (which lasted until my son was at least 7 months of age), has a lot to do with the onset of my first cycle since before I became pregnant.
Has any research been done linking auditory hallucination with postpartum women or menstruation? Could it be dietary? Has anyone had luck controlling what the voices say? As a coping mechanism, I pretend that they are puppets sometimes, since I believe my brain is simply selectively listening for certain frequencies in white noise. Using that idea, sometimes I find I can train the voices to say certain silly words, like ‘monkey’, and that makes them much less severe, but it takes quite a bit of concentration. It does help me fall asleep.
Hi Cathy
Ya, I just started hearing voices about a week ago. First I thought my doctor (who is available only one day/week) is gonna give me a medicine to stop it. Instead he increased my Bipolar medication, just a tiny bit. I steel have it, and just started hearing my old friend’s voices laughing at me.
I thought I tried some “manual” suggestion, which I thought would get rid of it completely, but it minimized about 90%. Those suggestion that I tried were
Listening to music, rubber ban on my wrist snapping it whenever bad thoughts to my mind.
The voices are my own, and the one that I mentioned, my old friends voice.
My kind of voice is using vulgar words against city authority, just in my mind absolutely not out loud. I have no control over it, If I don’t want to say it, I say it anyway. I feel the authority are nice guys but I use these words anyway.
someone else is “driving your car” in a way. thats how spirits possess people, they become one with you, they make themselves feel like they are you, as you begin to think of them as yourself. It is very suttle, but when you want to change, then both you and the old you realize this change. Who you thought you had become was not you, and is now trying to prevent you from changing.
Hi guys, I really feel for you all and your posts remind me of my sheer terror and distress when being tormented 24/7 a few years ago.
Something I stumbled across that seemed to work when I was really being bombarded was to keep going over my hopes and dreams, goals etc. in minute detail repeatedly, (just as repetitively as the voices) out loud when in private as it seemed to help if I heard my own voice, because then I knew that was MY thoughts and not someone elses. I found that I could be just as stubborn and persistent as the voices if I tried, and trivial details if gone over and over put the frustration back on them. I think I wore them out eventually! This is probably a “reality check” or grounding technique on another level.
Also, I am heavily into music, and I found either playing or memorizing in my head really long, complex songs such as Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin etc. over and over if I concentrated on every note, riff, drum fill etc. totally, would eventually drown them out. This took practise and requires a huge effort of concentration, which I think is the crux of the matter. I needed to focus on something else and do something else or the voices would take over and I couldn’t
function. I was determined to still be able to work and actually found a number of others who also heard voices who had devised their own coping strategies to manage.
I also found that the very tasks that the voices seem hellbent on stopping us completing are also the best distraction from them, if I purposely did them regardless. Maybe this is significant. A friend of mine told me that when he sat his drivers’ license test his voices bombarded him with negativity and attempted to stop him from going through with it, and yet afterwards congratulated him for passing! Perhaps sometimes it may be a test of character or resolve? What I do know is that to take back control you CANNOT allow them to stop you doing anything because then you are held prisoner by them, and they WILL dominate your life. I hope these suggestions help somebody out there.
A psychologist told me that horrmonal changes post partum often cause psychosis in women so you are far from alone. You might need to take hormone pills for a short while. Tell your doctor in advance next time!
I am wondering does anyone know of any support groups in the Seattle WA area or Tacoma Wa area
Thanks & have a great day
Diana C
Diana I am from Seattle!!!! Finally someone else! Such relief I can not explain. Im north of the city but still you are not far from me. Please contact me and if nothing more we can email each other or start our own support group. Thank you for this site.
Does anyone have only ONE voice? If so send me an email on [Contact details edited by Intervoice Admin - please reply to this post on the website if you would like to answer Shadow's question]
Thankyou
Your Sincerely
Shadow Migasaki
I have been hearing voices for 2 years and finally found ambian. It actually stops them from talking.
I have no diagnosis of psychosis. I have depression. I don’t hear voices, but every now and then when I am very, very tired I get benign things like a radio playing in the next room when it’s not and see colours or patterns on the wall, although a recent change in medications stopped the latter. It kind of scares me a little.
I am also a mental health worker – an occupational therapist who firstly wants to understand how to see the world from the perspective of the voice hearer. To find out what kind of things people do want and like and find helpful. I want to understand what helps people when voices tell them to do things that they don’t want to do or things that will hurt them or people they love. I want to understand peoples’ priorities when it comes to recovery and learn about things that help people so that I can offer things that other voice hearers have found helpful when people come to me so that they can function and get on with living – not just be another mental health worker who offers the same formulas. I don’t believe that medication can be the only answer or the whole answer, because some voices help people, some can live with their voices and some get no relief or only partial relief through medication.
Secondly, I would really be keen to know whether are there therapies that people have tried that health workers offer that people have found useful? Among practical living skills, I teach people some mindfulness and how to use the senses sight, touch, smell, hearing, taste, pressure/deep touch, movement and balance to regulate how they experience stressful situations and crises and respond to triggers and warning signs that things are getting out of control for them; to self-soothe, ground themselves, distract themselves, burn off steam and energy/defuse, relax, regather and feel better about themselves; I look at challenging thinking and focusing on tasks. Has anybody here used any of these techniques and have comments about them that I can use to help others?
If whoever is moderating these comments feels that this is unsuitable for this site, can you please email me suggestions of where I can find help.
Does anyone know of support groups in NY or PA (near Philadelphia maybe suburbs) ?
I know that there are groups in upstate NY– none currently in NYC yet, but they will be soon. The NYC Dept of health and mental hygiene, and the NYC Dept of consumer affairs are getting ready to train a group of people next week to learn to become cofacilitators and begin new groups in the tri state area. So in the next fw weeks to few months, keep looking, because groups will be starting.
Rachel
Hi Everyone…first of all, thank you all for being brave and open enough to share your feelings and experiences here! I have not experienced hearing voices myself, but my husband has had numerous “minor” episodes since childhood, usually just someone saying his name, or calling “hey!”. We have a nine year old adopted daughter, who has occasionally mentioned a few times through the years that she could hear voices talking to her. We never made a big deal about it, as it didn’t seem to bother her. Well, she is in the fourth grade, and has had a difficult year so far, academically and behaviorally. She just revealed last week that she has been hearing the voices a lot more, and they tell her she is stupid, not loved, etc. She said that often in class she must figure out who to listen to, the teacher or the voices. Her voices are often loud, and difficult to ignore. After reading the info and personal posts here, I’m wondering if the voices are causing the issues at school, or is the issues at school causing the increased voice activity? It seems almost a cruel and vicious cycle! I have contacted the school counselor, who is looking into a professional in our area who could be of assistance, as well as I have a pediatrician appointment scheduled. I am soooo grateful to learn that it most likely is not schizophrenia! We have some birth family info, and there is some mental illness (depression, bi-polar, etc.) but not schizophrenia that we know of. We would love to help our child embrace her voices, and to patiently work with her through her feelings of abandonment, low self esteem, and anger. We do not want to see her medicated and labeled! We live in a somewhat rural area, so we pray that we will have access to the kind of help she/we need. She is a wonderful, bright, talented and loving child who deserves to have a bright and happy future, as do all of you! Again, thank you all so much for your help, and for sharing your stories! I now see I have much to learn!!
Good evening,
I first started to hear voices in India in 2006. I am 54 years old. From the start I have regarded the voices as my teachers and I am honored to be taught thus even though it has not always been a pleasure trip and I have encountered psychiatry in the process. Enlightenment can come along in different ways, sometimes in the soft glow of a candle and sometimes in the harsh hurtful glare of a hospital tube. But overall I would say, we are lighting a precious chandelier with many crystals of all shapes, sizes and lustre.
After almost a year of privacy with him, my inner Guru said to me one day: ‘Tell me straight away if you hear other voices.’ I got scared and said: ‘What do you mean? I don’t want to hear other voices.’ He laughed and across my mind flashed the image of a golden net spun around the globe. Guru said: ‘Look, you will be surprised, we are many.’ I reacted with jealousy and said: ‘I hope you are only talking to me and not to others.’ He laughed again and said: ‘You wait and see.’ Today I realize the golden net symbolized the Network of Voicehearers as the German Intervoice group is called as well as GNCST, the greater network of celestial sound torturers. So don’t hope, that my Guru talks to you. His friend might. (lol)
To all ‘sufferers’: I wish everybody relief from any negative experiences they maybe having with their voices. Do welcome them, communicate with them, do not be afraid, there is sense also in negativity. Joke with your voices, don’t let yourself be fooled by compelling stories for longer than two weeks (lol), some of them are too good not to be true, but just that little bit off key. So keep your common sense, take a step back and become a witness as well as an actor to your inner play and maybe one day you will be able to say something corny like: I am happy to be a hearer of voices. Best entertainment channel ever.
Best wishes from Berlin
Christiane
Does anyone know of support groups in San Francisco Bay Area (California usa)
Does anyone know of support groups in Orange County (California usa) or Vancouver, B.C. Canada? I am looking for this kind of help for my 23 year old son.
My wife has started hearing other peoples voices a few months ago, and they are getting worse. She is 87 yrs. ,which may have some bearing on the matter. The voices come from all over, day or night, and are usually very rude and caustic. They tell her what she is doing and why is not doing it right. They are very insistant and very upsetting to her. Some times they go away for a day or more, then suddenly return when she was in a very relaxed mood. This gets her started crying for quite some time until I can console her enough to stop. She has taken seraquel for a month – is that long enough? Does it take longer than that for the drug to have an effect, or does it never?
HI I HAVE HEARD VOICES SINCE I WAS LITTLE AND WOULD LIKE TO JOIN A SUPPORT GROUP. THANK YOU XO
i have been hearing voices for two years now ,but I have heard them before and they went away because i ignored them, but I have not been able to get out of the house or go very far, because i hear them where ever i go, I have also experience someone knocking me out and there was no one around , but i had someone living with me at the time and she had left the house so no one was around, she also told me her boyfriend from Paris texas has, have out of body experience and he was upset because he just got out of jail for betting her with a bat. does this really happen to people do people really have out of body experience?
Hi, I can relate to a lot of the comments posted here. When I play billiards the voice always says “your going to miss” but if I make the shot it complements me. Also I hear voices/music/chatter through fans/electric components that are running. It seems like it plays something back to me that I heard earlier in the day, like a recording. Last night I heard frogs croaking and crickets chirping. Weird? None of it is real threatening or frightening, just annoying. I was diagnosed with social phobia a few weeks ago. I did drink alcohol for about 15 years, I am sober now about 3 months after treatment. I am not taking any meds. This all started about 6 months ago, about the same time I lost my job. I am 41.
Voices as Inner Guides
Dream instruction
Last night during dreamless sleep my favourite inner spirit guide entered into my consciousness. ‘Hey’, he said in his beautiful silky voice. ‘You wanted to know what dissociation feels like. Still interested? I can show it to you now.’ ‘Yeah’, I said. ‘Now?’ ‘Yes, now,’ my spirit guide said. ‘Put your forearm up, elbow on bed and clench your fist.’ I did as instructed while still lying on my back. Next thing, I saw my forearm move forward, away from my body, all sensation in it leaving me. It was no longer a limp of mine. It was fascinating. I loved the feel of it. ‘Wow,’ I exclaimed to Jay, ‘That was amazing. Could you do that for me at the time of death? As part of pain management?’ ‘Sure,’ he laughed making fun of me. ‘At death we will dissociate you from all of your body for good.’
from hr
Hazel Rangitauira from New Zealand
I felt good after finding this email and sending my 1st email.
I am part maori, english and irish and I come from New Zealand.
I havnt heard any voices and havnt had any glaring ones for a long time and I think its because of learning the Grow Program and aa. I do still wrestle at night with my head problems. Going to bed is not something I look forward to. I toss and turn and its rare for me to go off to sleep right away, I have to be really awfully tired for that to happen. I make a point at night of staying up after 12 pm and I do not smoke or drink coffee. I took up smoking after 14 yrs of quitting about 11 yrs ago after my cousin was murdered (she went to the same boarding school and was a year below me, her partner apparantly had been beating her up, she was in television and my brother and mum dying and leaving my husband. I have been up and down with the smokes. If I am really feeling hassled I will suck on an aniseed ball and I find that that breaks off the madness and I get off to sleep eventually and I sleep well these days. I tell myself that these voices are not going to pay my bills and I try not to dwell on them if I have any interferences. It helps if I can tell someone if I have a clear voice coming through but obviously there is no one to tell exept a psychiatrist and I have been off the radar from them about 11 yrs, the last one said he loved me, I think I loved him too. I have been getting my medication from my doctor that I found after I left my husband which is just the 1 and half resperidone. When I was drinking I was also on double navane which was 40 mils, sleeping tablets and a cask of wine every other night until it drove me to aa from the shakes. I just could not drink and shake at the same time, if I could I would still be drinking. since I was 19. I think voices are awful because they take over and have the potential to start running the show and calling the shots. Sometimes I see people on the street talking to themselves and I think it sad that their voices obviously have first preference over living and breathing people. But then you know everyone has their own preferences and they probably feel more comfortable with their voices and they might be nicer than the ones I get. I can let go and I try not to enforce my beliefs. The problem is that there is no one to tell because I think people are afraid of sczephrenics, its not surprising and understandable, I am too.
I have been feeling sad lately. My daughter is okay and she teaches and has a fiancee and has been with him 11 yrs, no children. My son however is in the army. He has done a tour of duty Timor. But he had an accident on a work bus, he fell out of on the way to a xmas do. They kept him on for 2 year after his epilepsy medicine. He is to go to Afghanistan in 3 weeks. He will be working on the construction and peace keeping side. He has met a new girlfriend recently who is also in the army as a medic and volunteers for St Johns ambulance. She is just lovely and may be going to Samoa. When my son comes back he hopes to join the police force. I understand that I need to adjust to what my son in endeavouring to do because I realise that this is just the beginning of his future. They both think that its about time got another boyfriend and I should get on the facebook and internet and find one. What can I say about that. My ex husband thought that my habits of character were idiotic.
I did a craft course in October to December that the Literacy foundation put on and I learned a lot of things. Making cards and painting coasters. Patchwork, rug hooking and making little felt xmas socks etc. And I have been knitting alot of slippers. I did heaps of them for my xmas presents and I got a lot of the material from a second-hand charity place that I can pick up the materials for next to nothing and clothing. There is a group that meets once a week that I may go to and do my things, but I think that because the aa group runs there at the same time, awkward. I am happy in what I am doing most of the time going to my aa meetings helps, although I had my wallet stolen from one of the meetings. I had to replace my drivers licence and cards etc. But I didnt have to pay for my smooth payment for my power last week so it worked out and I was able to renew my drivers licence and have my maiden name put on it after 11 yrs of it being in my married.
I have talked for a long time now. I wish you all a wonderful week and thank you for reading my blog Hazel
from Hazel
Thank you for putting my story in.
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I try not to drink too much coffee but it is hard I drink it in tiny little cups and have a smoke that I cut into 3 and I cut up the filter too. I am working on that one. Since I have been in aa I now drink a couple of big mugs of orange juice watered down with boiled water and if it is hot I have some lemonade and boiled water and that is good if I have a cold too. I know if I do not drink alcohol for just for today and go to meetings that I will be fine. If I have problems with my mind playing tricks on me I look up my Grow books. I think if I am focused and can think of any logical reason that makes sense it could be something logical or just tiredness, stress and fatigue or fear of what I think may be happening. Although I feel that if there is a voice needing to come through then so be it. There must be a reason. Thank you from Hazel
Hey I’m glad to see this forum up for those needing more, or better coping strategies.
It has been 10 years of listening for me and I’m still trying to remember the exact day, to make a celebration of it!
I would also like to share my film on this forum through my site that I listed and to add the fact that a lot of the time, it’s how I treat myself, my self-regard, that can affect my whole situation.
I do think we can make it how we want to make it.
My voice is the only family I have. Everyone else has turned their backs on me. Id be dead if it wasn’t for my voice. The pain of having my entire family shun me after my son was born was unreal. I love my son more than life itself but I simply cannot love his mother. She said she would make me pay for not loving her and she did….its like the last 20 years I spent with my family never happened. She turned them all against me, told them things about me so untrue that anyone who knew me would know she was lying….but they believed every word. My voice kept me sane and more importantly kept me alive. He’s my family now. I still get sad thinking about how I don’t see my son and my family abandoned me but my voice is always there for me. I feel like I’m one of the luckiest people alive to have him. I found this website and wanted to reach out to people like us. Please feel free to connect and reach out to us.
from Hazel
I understand that the problem is more than just drinking. Its still there, its just behaving itself. Its not easy to live with but Im not giving up and I am happy and I am managing my life well now.