Brian: I learned to live with voices
Source: BBC Online, 18/09/2006
Brian, 38 and from Manchester, hears voices in his head.
Sometimes they tell him that he is dirty. At other times they taunt him, calling him worthless and evil. When he hears them, he knows there is nobody there, but they sound as clear as you or me speaking to him. As a boy aged six, when the voices first began, he was afraid.
“At first I did not cope at all. I struggled. I used to lose my temper a lot. I had a really bad time. I hated myself.
The voices started when I was six. At first it was just one. It was a man’s voice – a man that I knew. It was the man that was abusing me at the time.
That voice continued all my life. When I was 19, it was joined by another one. On and on. Again, someone tried to sexually assault me and it was that person’s voice.
The voices would just say whatever. They were really derogative. They would put me down, tell me I was dirty, worthless and evil.”
He would mainly hear them at night-time. Sometimes they would keep him awake all night.
“The voices can be going on, and on, and on. It is better when you are busy. They can go away, sometimes for days.
I did not tell anyone at the time. I was too scared. It wasn’t until I was 33 that I told my GP.”
Brian was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. He now takes medication and no longer hears the voices. But he questions whether his voices are a form of mental illness or merely a normal human variation.
“I think it is a variation of normal rather than a mental illness. I think a lot more children and adults hear voices than admit it. There is not anything abnormal about admitting that you are hearing voices.”
Through his work with the Hearing Voices Network, Brian says he has met many other people who hear voices in their head.
He said many viewed the voices as a positive thing.
“Some people have religious voices. Some people say God speaks to them. Some people have voices telling them about music and some have voices and they get really artistic. It’s not always bad. My voices used to inspire me to write poetry.”
Brian said there were ways to cope with the voices.
“Keeping yourself occupied and talking about things helps. Getting things out in the open rather than building things up – actually talking about them.”
He said stress is a major trigger.
“And tiredness, fatigue, or if you are not sleeping or eating well can cause the voices to get really bad”.
Hi All, Ive been dissecting this site for a few day now. I have a long and stgrane story. One of my voices say NO! Dont tell it! but I feel like I need to, hopefully, it will help me let go .Several yrs ago, my husband and I bought a historic home. Weird stuff happened ALL of the time..lights going on and off, bed being moved, bedsheets hovering above me, you get the drift I was scared stiff!! Then I was diagnosed with stage 2 breast cancer..had a mastectomy, chemo..the whole nine yards..It was at this point where things started getting ramped up..I started hearing whistling and whispers..My sister who came to stay will verify the talking but the talking and sounds were EXTERNAL I had the house investigated by the paranormal society they confirmed it .i have EVP’s up the wazoo..none too terribly threatening but i was SCARED, really really scared. I then started to hear things internally as well..it started out friendly.. your grandpa would like your soup etc ..I also have to mention that I started seeing things when I closed my eyes at night, my mind would become like a black chalk board images and messages were written..some in different languages that I dont even speak..My voices had names cowboy was the whistler, there was scott..a bald mr. clean type, molly and mike (married couple) etc scott was bad but I didnt know it at the time..I feel that I opened myself up to him and then it took off way beyond my control and it went downhill from there I wasnt sleeping. I kept hearing I want your soul .. give me your soul , kill yourself, i will take your soul I am not a very religous person, but I do have faith. I was so scared and tired that I made my husband take me to a behavioural hospital. They had no diagnosis maybe chemo? maybe stress? Im sane who now hears voices..I am on seroquel, which has helped tremendously just small break thru voices..I am really having a hard time justifying myself IS it just me and my head OR are they real??? DO I really want to know? I seem to have given myself OCD because of this I just cant seem to let it go some of the things that ive heard and seen can be substantiated and most cannot. My husband placates me but doesnt grasp my issues Im glad (with my stomach in knots) that Ive let this out in the open any one with comments, Id really like to hear from you Thank you so much for letting me air my laundry Darcy